Training

Training is important, preparation is key to survival. On Oct 4th I will be taking a big step in my own training, I have been waiting to hear about my military application and on the 4th I go for the final tests before getting shipped off for basic. This is training I feel vital to my own development as a zurvivor. Survival, weapons and fitness training are pillars of preparation when the fall happens.

Training can never begin to early either. My young brother and sisters are all in grade school and have been learning from my example. This was written by my sister in Grade 10 as a punishment for leaving class early:

     "Why is it important to stay in the classroom until the end of the block. There are many reasons why this is so, but I think it most important because by doing so you show respect for your teacher. Other reasons could be that there are still things to do in class. The teacher could want to say something important before we leave. By staying until the end of the block, while your group is done and another group is being taught, you could learn something while the teacher is talking to that group. A very important reason not to leave class early is if there's a fire you would be unaccounted for. Also if someone left before the bell and another teacher saw them, that teacher might think the person was skipping and then they would get in big trouble. Staying in class 'til the end of the block shows that you are responsible and a good mature kid. Students shouldn't leave class before the bell because if you're alone in the hallway and the zombie apocalypse starts, you would have no weapons but a recycling bin; if you'd stayed in class there would be rulers and paintbrushes to stab in the zombies' heads; also stools if you get surrounded. Or if you are alone in the halls and you see that weird twelve-year old that has a crush on you, you'd have no excuse not to talk to him. And last but not least of all if you leave class before the bell you would have to write a 250 word essay."

From the words of babes as they say.

Stay vigilant, may the infection never reach you, and those close to you have the resolve to do what is needed should you be so unfortunate, Mike D.

Zombies in Film: The Dead Undead

"How do you kill something that is already dead?"


Film: The Dead Undead
Directed by Matthew Anderson and Edward Conna
Written by Edward Conna
Produced by ?
Year: 2010

Story: "We call them ZVs... Zombie Vampires." They have the speed and strength of vampires but are mindless and even harder to kill, like zombies. They are basically just feral vampires, except they have to have they're heads destroyed or burning up in the daylight. Only that apparently isn't true because m film are killed by swords slicing their stomachs or lots of bullets in the torso, and the only memorable kill is a zombie in a wheelchair being set on fire.

Survival Lessons/not really:

• If you are shouting, you are probably not the calm one.
• Nothing is impossible, just difficult.
• Destroy the brain completely.
• If someone has been infected the only good use for them is to run into melee with a big sword and slow the horde down.
• When you die while fighting zombies you go to Valhalla.
• If your loved one turns into a vampire, you turn into a zombie... yep.
• Vampires are not immune to zombie bites... yep.

Warning: Below are spoilers.

 What's going on? That is the biggest question in this movie. Who is human, who is vampire, who is zombie? And why do the zombies look like vampires? What the movie does show is how a bunch of kids in the woods have no chance of surviving, but trained paramilitary types have a good chance by being prepared. And the big Valhalla fight scene? Not sure why it's there but hey, who doesn't want a pointless emotional medieval battle in the middle of a zombie movie. Oh wait! That's how you turn into a vampire! Maybe? Or is that how you turn your loved one into a zombie? Sorry ZV, zombie vampire, really? Couldn't come up with a better name hey? Oh yeah and there are racism issues being addressed. But everyone in the cast is Caucasian. Hold on, now we are in the Vietnam war. Oh and the Wild West. This movie has more chaos in it than a game of the Warp from Warhammer 40k and makes even less sense.

Stay vigilant, may the infection never reach you, and those close to you have the resolve to do what is needed should you be so unfortunate, Mike D.

Zombies in Film: Abarham Lincoln vs Zombies

"He emancipate the slave, he saved the union, he slaughtered the undead."


Film: Aberham Lincon vs. Zombies
Directed by Richard Schenkman
Written by Karl Hirsch and Lauren Proctor
Produced by Asylum
Year: 2012

Story: To the rousing tune of "the ants go marching two-by-two" Abarham Lincoln leads a rag-tag crew of every famous historical figure at the time against the undead horde. Good old Honest Abe has been fighting the undead since he had to kill his own zombie mother so he knows all there is to know about zombies, except what to call them, that is until a man in his secret service happens to come from africa where they have magic that turns people into "zombies." And of course when Booth decides it is against his morales to kill unarmed innocents, young Teddy Rosevelt steps up to replace him on the team, and the end of the film gives a new twist to an old assassination story.

Zombies: These zombies are pretty close to real, except one large gapping flaw, if you are completely silent the zombies will be in a "standing slumber" immobile and nything around them. There is no logic or reason given behind this, it zombies... aparently.
 

Survival Lessons/Quotes from Abarham Lincoln himself:

• The slightest noise will bring danger and death.
• Walk softly and carry this big stick.
• While a gunshot to the head is effective it attracts more.
• Is it not better to persuade my enemies to join me instead of destroy them.
• We can not fail, if you resolutly determine that you will not.
• If anyone is infected they must be treated as an enemy.
• Find a cure... for the next time! Can't you see how vital it is!

Warnings: Below are spoilers.

Besides strange references and statements about women's rights and slavery, this movie is basically a who's-who of historical figures. Aparently everyone in Lincon's life was also in the Secret Service and part of his elite zombie hunting team. That is unless he ran into them during the mission and recruited them along the way. Now I'm a fan of ladies in victorian dresses, esspecially very pretty ladies, but there are some limitations to movement and thus believablity when an untrained courtesain can walk into a horde of zombies wearing a full dress and corset, and fair better than most of the famous heroes of the civil war. So if you want to watch Lincon say every famous quote of his, Rosevelt's and even a few of Shakespeare's while chopping up zombies left, right and centre this is the film for you. This movie lacks too things to make it great, it is not tongue in cheek, therefore it is not funny. Nor however is it very good or impressive, therefore it can't be taken seriously. The film walked a line of trying to rewrite history and unfortunately got a few facts wrong.


Stay vigilant, may the infection never reach you, and those close to you have the resolve to do what is needed should you be so unfortunate, Mike D.