Zombies in Film: Abarham Lincoln vs Zombies

"He emancipate the slave, he saved the union, he slaughtered the undead."


Film: Aberham Lincon vs. Zombies
Directed by Richard Schenkman
Written by Karl Hirsch and Lauren Proctor
Produced by Asylum
Year: 2012

Story: To the rousing tune of "the ants go marching two-by-two" Abarham Lincoln leads a rag-tag crew of every famous historical figure at the time against the undead horde. Good old Honest Abe has been fighting the undead since he had to kill his own zombie mother so he knows all there is to know about zombies, except what to call them, that is until a man in his secret service happens to come from africa where they have magic that turns people into "zombies." And of course when Booth decides it is against his morales to kill unarmed innocents, young Teddy Rosevelt steps up to replace him on the team, and the end of the film gives a new twist to an old assassination story.

Zombies: These zombies are pretty close to real, except one large gapping flaw, if you are completely silent the zombies will be in a "standing slumber" immobile and nything around them. There is no logic or reason given behind this, it zombies... aparently.
 

Survival Lessons/Quotes from Abarham Lincoln himself:

• The slightest noise will bring danger and death.
• Walk softly and carry this big stick.
• While a gunshot to the head is effective it attracts more.
• Is it not better to persuade my enemies to join me instead of destroy them.
• We can not fail, if you resolutly determine that you will not.
• If anyone is infected they must be treated as an enemy.
• Find a cure... for the next time! Can't you see how vital it is!

Warnings: Below are spoilers.

Besides strange references and statements about women's rights and slavery, this movie is basically a who's-who of historical figures. Aparently everyone in Lincon's life was also in the Secret Service and part of his elite zombie hunting team. That is unless he ran into them during the mission and recruited them along the way. Now I'm a fan of ladies in victorian dresses, esspecially very pretty ladies, but there are some limitations to movement and thus believablity when an untrained courtesain can walk into a horde of zombies wearing a full dress and corset, and fair better than most of the famous heroes of the civil war. So if you want to watch Lincon say every famous quote of his, Rosevelt's and even a few of Shakespeare's while chopping up zombies left, right and centre this is the film for you. This movie lacks too things to make it great, it is not tongue in cheek, therefore it is not funny. Nor however is it very good or impressive, therefore it can't be taken seriously. The film walked a line of trying to rewrite history and unfortunately got a few facts wrong.


Stay vigilant, may the infection never reach you, and those close to you have the resolve to do what is needed should you be so unfortunate, Mike D.

A rose by any other name

The police call it bath salts. The girlfriend calls it voodoo. The internet calls it the zombie apocalypse. Media calls is cannibalism. No matter the name one thing is clear, all is not well in the state of Florida.

Now the third case of cannibalism in Florida, not counting the initial outbreak. The media is never `100% clear about these things and the only way we ever know something for sure is by experiencing it for ourselves. But the case of Charles Baker, looks just a little bit too much like a slow transformation to me.

No matter what it's called, bath salts, cocaine induced psychosis, zombie virus. No matter what the reason, synthetic drugs, aggressive mindset combined with heavy drugs, voodoo, re-animation. The fact is, there is a plague in Florida and it's spreading. In just three weeks since Rudy Eugene ate the face of Ronald Poppo, there have been three other incidents of cannibalism in Florida, the latest with Charles Baker eating part of Jeffery Blakes' arm before being tazed and shot with a stun gun multiple times before finally being taken down with physical force. It may not be the T-virus and they may not be the walking dead but whatever is happening down south is definitely not a freak accident and any drug that can turn a person into an extremely violent cannibal immune to pain is a zombie drug.

Those in the Florida area be exceedingly careful. Obviously things are being hidden here and there is a big puzzle piece missing. While it is possible this is all due to drugs or unrelated events, we know the media is not trust worthy when it comes to giving the whole truth.

On something a little closer to home, and a little more old news. Independent film makers in Edmonton are excited over our own possible zombie invasion. Good old DEdmonton is finally putting funds toward indy film in the city. This means more jobs for artists who are trained here, want to live here, but have to go to Vancouver or Toronto to get work. Over the past few years Edmonton has seen the largest EXPORT of educated youth in Canada. Most of these youth have been artists. All across the country the same story, went to Grant MacEwan or U of A but there's no jobs in Edmonton, Alberta doesn't support the arts. Well I won't say this is a cure all but it definitely helps take a step in the right direction. Edmonton has been known for it's heavy horror-cult community and now the city is finally standing proud behind the name DEdmonton instead of trying to shove it under the carpet. So on the off chance any Edmonton artists are reading this but haven't heard about the new funding, now might be the time to watch how things are going and if you're lucky grab a piece of the pie.

Stay vigilant, may the infection never reach you, and those close to you have the resolve to do what is needed should you be so unfortunate, Mike D.

Confirmed Class 1, Miami, USA

It's all over the news, probably the most public attack of this kind we've seen in a long time. First thing of note here is that reports are all over the place. Some reports say both men were naked, some say multiple officers were on site, no one agrees where the bullets actually hit on the body, different accounts on what the two men were doing prior to one of them eating the other's face. Be here's what we know for sure:

Police in Miami found a naked man crewing on another man's face. Police verbaling warned the man to which he responded with "growling" and continued eating. Police shot the man once, he didn't even seem to notice. Police continued to fire until the man died. Those are the facts.

Now what else is interesting? The wounded man was "eventually taken to Jackson Memorial Hospital" but the videos that have been leaked through the internet show paramedics completely avoiding the wounded man well after the attacker has been killed.

Not too odd that police have taken all recording and surveillance devices in the area but only certain videos of the event are still being allowed to be posted or kept online. Also both men are claimed to be homeless and their identities are not being released. The names of the paramedics and other onsite staff are also being withheld.

Finally, police are trying to say this is a fairly normal case when it obviously is not. Saying the naked man was suffering from "cocaine psychosis" and they face cases like this all the time where LCD is claimed to the cause.

I could find no further evidence of what became of the man who had been attacked.

UPDATE: the man attacked is currently in hospital police say and the community is raising funds to rebuild his face. But more importantly there were no drugs found in the attackers system besides marijuana. Last I checked marijuana doesn't turn normal people into pain-immune cannibals. Something else is definitely going on.

Details Breakdown-
Location: Miami, USA
Time: May 26, 2012
Infected: 2
Response: Local
Media Coverage: High but contained

My suggestion: To me this appears very clearly to be an attack that got public to widely and too quickly so cocaine and LCD are a quick cover-up. If you live in the Miami area be extremely cautious.  If this is truly a cover of some sort than similar events have definitely occurred before and may well again.

Stay vigilant, may the infection never reach you, and those close to you have the resolve to do what is needed should you be so unfortunate,Mike D.

Above all things

Hello fellow survivors:

Today will be a day of links. Just a couple to hopefully keep you occupied while new survivors go back over my months of posts and seasoned survivors complain I only post once every couple of months. Well hush now, open these links and bask in stuff I didn't write.

For instance opensource. The concept is that the vast hivemind of the internet knows everything and the collective can make any decision, share any information and create any creation better than any select group of people could. To that end we have things like opensource.com who have supplied us with the open source to zombies (which reads more like an advertisement for opensource guides everywhere.) None the less it is a worthwhile lead and has links to download a couple of zombie related songs.

After that I am constantly telling people how important it is to eat right and know about good fitness and eating. The man who has taught me the most about healthy living is actually someone I've never met, Mike Geary, author of The Truth About Abs and he has a blog with all sorts of helpful and, in any emergency where you might have to use your body, life saving, information.

Finally, entertainment will always be an important part of survival. Keeping a healthy mind is just as important as a healthy body. To that end I encourage the use of storytelling in every way I possibly can. Many independent groups choose the method of creating short films to tell stories and while electricity will not last long after the fall, for now you can enjoy that style of storytelling.

But remember when you are reading, watching, scouting, snooping, listening and researching, above all things, it will be your own knowledge and skills that will keep you and your's safe in the coming ruin.

Stay vigilant, may the infection never reach you, and those close to you have the resolve to do what is needed should you be so unfortunate, Mike D.

Too long

Hello fellow survivors:

I'm back. Almost one year since I started the ZLC and I regret only that I haven't been able to keep up with the demand. I am currently without a computer of my own but will still post when and what I can in the hopes the world will continue to learn about this threat that we all must face together.

After the fall we will all have to learn to get by without computers, iPhones, GPS, the little technologies we've grown so comfortable with in North America. To this end I suggest to anyone to try going a week without just to see if you can. Find other ways to communicate and get things done. Trips to other countries can also show how these devices are not as essential as we believe them to be.

In my experience I've found technology to be more stressful than helpful and yet it always seems so important to use it over something else. Here are a few ways to relieve stress without using an app:
Blow bubbles
Meditate
Go bowling
Have some quite time
Read a book
Have a cup of hot tea
Take some time to make a good meal
Visit a library
Write a letter
Join an activity group
Window shop
Play with a pet
Go to the park
Have a nap
Plan your dream vacation
Sit under a shady tree
Watch a sunrise or sunset
Do some deep breathing exercises
Have a long bath or shower
Listen to the sounds around you
Prioritize your activities or goals
Play an instrument
Sing or whistle
Clean out a closet
Work on a puzzle
Do creative writing
Draw or paint
Take a walk
Pick flowers
Ride a bike
Weed your garden
Catch-up with family or a friend
Begin a new project or hobby
Use visual imagery
Lie down and cloud watch
Give of yourself
Reflect on your blessings
Enjoy the weather
Attend a concert or large social event
Listen to music
Play a board or card game
Tear up an old newspaper
Go roller-blading
Laugh at nothing
Go swimming
Reflect on your spirituality
Light some candles
Finish a task or goal
Reach out to someone

Obviously some of these will be harder to do or find after the fall but not impossible and knowing how to relax now will help the true survivor deal with stress later.

Stay vigilant, may the infection never reach you, and those close to you have the resolve to do what is needed should you be so unfortunate, Mike D.