Before the apocalypse we are given the time to deal with our sorrow and grief over losing someone as we see fit and is true to our customs. This is part of being human, what makes us separate from beasts.
This is also part of the human need to be “okay” and to know others are “okay.”
When someone passes, “It will be ok.”
“We will be ok.”
“It’s ok, he just let go.”
“We’re all ok.”
Even when informed if that a person has suffered a lose others will almost without fail respond, “Are you ok?” or alternatively, “Is everything ok?” Often followed by questions about if the other people involved are ok.
What is this state of ok? Is it simply the state of going on? I believe so. Being ok, is to be able to keep living, so people just want to know that others are ok. As long as others are able to keep living then the asker feels he has done his job.
The trouble comes when a person is not ok: at that point something must be done by someone. Sometimes an outside hand is needed to change events or offer support and make the person ok. Or sometimes the person can make those changes and coping mechanisms on his own. Someone who is not ok will be distracted and unable to accomplish the goals that must be carried out in day-to-day living. Because of that ok becomes subjective to how demanding the tasks a person must accomplish. And survivors must accomplish a great number of vital tasks every day. But it is important to realize that after the fall just like in today’s social world, if someone cannot be made okay, a survivor must look out for his own safety first and certain customs must be forgotten.
The feelings vary but loss, sadness, confusion, love, empathy, connection, disconnection, despair can all be part of it. Often all at the same time. Every task seems annoying and pointless, life needs to have some sort of point and goals must be accomplished with every move!
The truth, nothing has changed. There is one fewer soul in the close, safe, immediate world. Mortality comes for all survivors and we can only do our best to choose the circumstances of life leading up to it.This seems like a harsh reality but a reality it is. There will be no time for days of mourning, proper burials, cremations, week long festivities. This however does not mean we should not remember and honor our dead. We own much to those who pass, the things they teach us in life and the things they teach us in leaving this world. Even so much as owing to them for things they have taught others who then pass the knowledge on or use it to better our chances of survival. Much is owed and even animals remember and honor their dead. It is possible to still honor without spending too much time or becoming dangerously emotional. The fine line is, what is too much or dangerous?
This will vary group by group and even person to person much as it does now. You will not always have time, especially in the heat of zombat to bury your dead or even recover their bodies. There are ways to work around this however, some may seem morbid but can become a ritual of their own and in fact therapeutic. Below are a number of practices that can be followed before and after death to make it that much easier to become “ok.” People should be encouraged to find their our methods to deal with the loss of other survivors so long as it does not interfere with their ability to perform their duties, i.e. to be ok.
One way to save time is during down time to dig graves. These serve dual purpose; once the time comes you will not have to find time and struggle to dig fresh graves. They can also act as a sort of defense if positioned properly and the undead are made to walk through them.
Decapitation/destruction of the brain, while not the prettiest of retinues is one of the most important and over time will become as second nature as the idea of burying the dead. The number of ways to do this are countless and people may prefer different ways to do it or to even let someone else do it. Rolling the deceased onto its stomach and striking once near the top of the spine with a pickax or similar tool is a relatively clean and quick way to make sure. Using a smaller tool like an ice pick requires a little more strength but will not pierce the front of the head.
It will be hard to give everyone the burial survivors may think they deserve. Because of this and because most deaths will occur quickly and brutally, it is easier to put the memories of these people aside for a short time so that you will survive to remember them. Once you are relatively safe and things have calmed down take the time to remember them with a few words and perhaps a burial of something they owned or a symbol of them.
A powerful way to move on is to forgive. The power of a person’s emotions and will is beyond comparison and few things will wear it away as much as not being able to forgive the dead. This extends to both the undead and the truly gone.
Writing is another way to remember those passed. Writing a letter to or about the deceased will allow a survivor to say goodbye. Many things can be done with the letter, it can be burnt, buried, sent over a cliff or into the sea.
Letting go can be difficult for many survivors. Often it is hard to even realize how difficult until the very moment when a person passes on while in the arms of another survivor. Consider with this the added stress that every person who falls is now a much larger percentage of the human population as a whole. This weight can be over bearing. The danger of becoming “not ok” will continue to grow. To survive this a survivor must become hard and practical. Things we view as humane will begin to fade and the grey lines will blur. THIS MUST HAPPEN! Do not be afraid to let go of things gradually, the danger becomes letting go of everything completely. Eventually surviving will not be enough and the lone survivors will need to band together to form new societies and communities. These societies will have to be rough and hard to thrive but they do not need to be heartless. Make no mistake the world will change and those unwilling to change with it will be swept away. When the dead pass let them fade, keep their teachings and memories but do not let the loss of a live among billions distract and inevitably cost more lives.
Remember that time for mourning has past. Now the greatest honor to give those loved and lost is to keep living. To be “okay.”
Always okay, may the infection never reach you, and those close to you have the resolve to do what is needed should you be so unfortunate,
Mike D.
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