ZOMG! Holy Zombies!

In wake of Easter I would like to put out my first Holiday themed post.


What should be noted right out of the gate is Jesus is not a zombie. Other sources have argued this point as well. Zombies are not supernatural beings who have defeated death, they are an infection, a curse, a disease, a plague, many things but they are not the same person they had been simply returned to life. There are many accounts in the Bible of this happening, Jesus raises Lazarus (John 11:23-44), Elisha rises a young boy (2 Kings 8:4-6), and others (Psalm 30, 1 Samuel 2, 2 Kings 13). In all of these instances the person who was brought back to life is the same person they were when they died.


These are holy victories over death and are shown again and again to prove a point (1 Corinthians 15:55). No one considers the rapture to be the creation of zombies, simply God taking all of His faithful to be with him. Much like Elijah's assent to Heaven (2 Kings 2:11), it is a supernatural event, a reward, not a punishment. All through the Bible we find people being raised from the dead and (most importantly) being brought back to life. Not a mockery of life or a violent destructive life but truly living again. And some of these events happened before Jesus, so he could not have been the first zombie even if these were zombies being raised. Not too mention the records of zombies are older then the time of Christ.


All of this is simply pointing out the obvious falsehood of the statement "Jesus was the first zombie" or even the mockery of calling Easter, "zombie day." However there are other events told of in the Bible which are not so glorious. Zechariah 14:12 for example tells of a plague which will make the people rot as if dead while still on their feet and violently attack each other. Sounds similar, and just because the writers of the Bible didn't use the word "zombie" doesn't mean it isn't the same thing. Rotting flesh, plague (meaning it can spread), large-scale panic, grabbing and attacking. The only thing not covered is waking up from being thought dead. Or the seven trumpets from Revelation 8 and 9: the fifth angel who summons creatures from hell that make men seek out death but cannot die themselves. Zombies? How about the sixth angel who summons four horsemen (not THE horsemen) who will kill one third of the earth's population with a plague from their mouths... or those killed by the Beast who will be left to lie in the streets, now after the three-and-a-half days the breath of life from God entered them, and they stood on their feet, and great fear fell on those who saw them. (Revelation 11:11) Ezekiel 37:1-11 is the story of an entire nation being raised from dry bones, what happens to these bones is not clear. If they become the people of Israel or do they become something closer to our version of the undead? In Numbers 25 a great plague kills twenty-four thousand and is only stopped but killing the man who caused it; an exciting re-telling of a zombie plague only stopped by slaying the plague bearers? Habakkuk 3 prays for the One who brings pestilence and plague wherever He walks to destroy his enemies. Revelation talks about rising the dead who have not accepted Christ to wage war against Him in the final days, this is an event foretold by Daniel as well, the fact the dead do not rest is something consistent through the Bible. (Daniel 12:2)


One final note on the Christians who doubt, "if there be no resurrection of the dead, then is Christ not risen?" (1 Corinthians 15:13)


Is there definately evidence of zombies in the Bible? No, I would not say 100% but consider the stories. Read them for yourself. See if the plagues presented there match the information you have. Consider if you didn't know what a zombie was how you might describe one. Or consider if zombies were a somewhat regular thing? Would they be worth mentioning as more then a plague? The Bible is a wealth of information, knowledge and wisdom even for people who do not consider themselves Christian. And in my mind, enough of it points toward a plague of violence, death, and rot to make me say there could very well be zombies in the Bible, they just aren't named as such.


Stay vigilant, may the plague never be cast on you, and if it does may those close to you have the resolve to do what is nessicary.
Mike D.