Zombies in Film: Abarham Lincoln vs Zombies

"He emancipate the slave, he saved the union, he slaughtered the undead."


Film: Aberham Lincon vs. Zombies
Directed by Richard Schenkman
Written by Karl Hirsch and Lauren Proctor
Produced by Asylum
Year: 2012

Story: To the rousing tune of "the ants go marching two-by-two" Abarham Lincoln leads a rag-tag crew of every famous historical figure at the time against the undead horde. Good old Honest Abe has been fighting the undead since he had to kill his own zombie mother so he knows all there is to know about zombies, except what to call them, that is until a man in his secret service happens to come from africa where they have magic that turns people into "zombies." And of course when Booth decides it is against his morales to kill unarmed innocents, young Teddy Rosevelt steps up to replace him on the team, and the end of the film gives a new twist to an old assassination story.

Zombies: These zombies are pretty close to real, except one large gapping flaw, if you are completely silent the zombies will be in a "standing slumber" immobile and nything around them. There is no logic or reason given behind this, it zombies... aparently.
 

Survival Lessons/Quotes from Abarham Lincoln himself:

• The slightest noise will bring danger and death.
• Walk softly and carry this big stick.
• While a gunshot to the head is effective it attracts more.
• Is it not better to persuade my enemies to join me instead of destroy them.
• We can not fail, if you resolutly determine that you will not.
• If anyone is infected they must be treated as an enemy.
• Find a cure... for the next time! Can't you see how vital it is!

Warnings: Below are spoilers.

Besides strange references and statements about women's rights and slavery, this movie is basically a who's-who of historical figures. Aparently everyone in Lincon's life was also in the Secret Service and part of his elite zombie hunting team. That is unless he ran into them during the mission and recruited them along the way. Now I'm a fan of ladies in victorian dresses, esspecially very pretty ladies, but there are some limitations to movement and thus believablity when an untrained courtesain can walk into a horde of zombies wearing a full dress and corset, and fair better than most of the famous heroes of the civil war. So if you want to watch Lincon say every famous quote of his, Rosevelt's and even a few of Shakespeare's while chopping up zombies left, right and centre this is the film for you. This movie lacks too things to make it great, it is not tongue in cheek, therefore it is not funny. Nor however is it very good or impressive, therefore it can't be taken seriously. The film walked a line of trying to rewrite history and unfortunately got a few facts wrong.


Stay vigilant, may the infection never reach you, and those close to you have the resolve to do what is needed should you be so unfortunate, Mike D.